Why beggar in the suit?

Are you a beggar that is disguised in a power black suit? Well, that makes the two of us.

I am working in hotel industry where employees are expected to be well groomed, hair neatly tied up, make-up is a must, polished shoes and presentable dress, and in our case – a business suit.

In the past few weeks, I feel like a fool. Every morning I walk to our office don in one of my few power black suits but penniless and can hardly sustain my basic needs in life. Outside, my suit looks perfect but its interior, it is already torn and the inner thin silky linen is shabby especially the armpit section.

It is sign of a worn out suits that I manage to keep for the last three years. But still, I need to look pleasant in my job.

Last month, I survived my needs through credit card. One instance drove me to the verge of self-pity. In the counter with my goods, my credit cards were not working. There was quite a long queue and none of my cards had sufficient amount. All were already max out.

And there I was, standing in the counter, rummaging my bag and hoping to find any money or another credit card that hopefully was not yet swiped.

Yesterday I have only coins in my purse, not even enough to commute and to buy water.

I am literally penniless with mounting debts and paycheck that can hardly pay my monthly bills. I don’t want to borrow money also from friends because I am trying to contain my current debt and my friends seem to be all in financial crisis too.

Don’t take me wrong! I am definitely not happy with my situation but dwelling on it doesn’t help as well. I honestly don’t blame anyone, not even myself (though I am the culprit of my recent financial quagmire).

You see, you have to understand a bit of my past to somehow vindicate me from my current state of ‘brokenness’. Yes, it is a sort of self vindication.

With two siblings, we grew up only an inch above poverty. The great thing was that my parents knew the value of good education so they struggled hard to send us to college. Then years later in my corporate life, I started to be financially better.

Since somehow I could already afford to buy things like cellphone and laptop, I slowly developed an addiction to the feeling of being able to buy something that I wanted. So I became an impulsive buyer both for my necessities and wants.

It was like devouring the things that I was deprived in my growing years.

Anyway, now I am paying the consequences of my reckless expenditures. I am caught up in spiraling debts though in a way I am grateful it happened because I learned my lesson well but in a hard way.

So here I am now – broke but not hopeless.

Lately I have been considering all the possibilities (that are in accordance with my moral beliefs) to earn extra income and to contain my debts, and I will be journaling it here.

Hopefully this blog will serve its purpose of helping others who share the same situation with me or enlightening others who have the tendency to lead the kind of life that I have now.

Wishing you a better life,

Beggar in the Suit


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