Category Archives: About Me

Exhausted but Happy!

Yesterday, I had only coins left in my wallet. I am expecting the salary only be end of the week. I was thinking where to get my fare for the following day. Then all of a sudden my colleague paid me for the purchased she made earlier from the multi-level marketing products I had. It saved me for my needs today.

I can’t help but reminisce my Dad’s mantra. When we faced financial crisis before, my Mum would start to worry. Then my Dad would assure her that ‘God will provide’.

Indeed He does. You may not be religious but I believe in the Man up there who looks after us.Have a great day!


Slaving Myself for LG

It is public holiday here and I am off for three days in a row! Fantastic, right?

In a way yes and I envy some of my friends because for them, it is party and holiday time. Others flew to exotic resorts and some to other countries for short break. I know that I should not nurture this evil feeling of jealousy. Instead I should be content and thankful for the blessings that I have. Sometimes this thought flees from my sane mind. Not good actually as it always makes me feel better…

Anyway, I am thankful for the public holiday. I don’t have work three days in a row. For the last two days I never stepped out from my home. I am hibernating for two reasons.

First, I really have no money (literally) to go out or for taxi fare. I have coins only left in my wallet. I even wanted to go to drop by in the office for couple of hours during this holiday. I just want to check my emails because by the time I resume work on Sunday, my inbox will be swarmed with emails.

Unfortunately, I am extremely broke this month and there is two days more to go before salary time.

Secondly, I had been working hard in my new writing gig. Though they pay really less, I gave in because I need extra money by end of the month. The good about them is they pay on time (and I had proven that before) and they have continuous assignments. It is just a matter of how much time you can allocate to finish the writing assignments.

Anyway, last Wednesday I slept at 4am in order to meet my deadline for the writing gig. It was really a long day. I came home late from the office because I tried to wrap up things before the public holiday. After that, I started pounding my laptop to finish six articles. Whew!

Then, I woke up again at lunch time and continued for the next assignment. This time it was ten but shorter articles.

Believe me, I was so tired. My back was paining because I really don’t have an ideal desk with proper chair. So while writing, I moved around my bed.
After I submitted my last set of assignments I took a break.. Then later this afternoon, I took another assignment. I wanted to finish early but I have been procrastinating it.

I will definitely start my research after posting this post.

Honestly, every time I felt discourage and tired, I reminded myself about LG then it helped me to keep going. I know it seems senseless for I am slaving myself for LG who is not my kin at all but I made my promise and I want to keep that promise.

Why beggar in the suit?

Are you a beggar that is disguised in a power black suit? Well, that makes the two of us.

I am working in hotel industry where employees are expected to be well groomed, hair neatly tied up, make-up is a must, polished shoes and presentable dress, and in our case – a business suit.

In the past few weeks, I feel like a fool. Every morning I walk to our office don in one of my few power black suits but penniless and can hardly sustain my basic needs in life. Outside, my suit looks perfect but its interior, it is already torn and the inner thin silky linen is shabby especially the armpit section.

It is sign of a worn out suits that I manage to keep for the last three years. But still, I need to look pleasant in my job.

Last month, I survived my needs through credit card. One instance drove me to the verge of self-pity. In the counter with my goods, my credit cards were not working. There was quite a long queue and none of my cards had sufficient amount. All were already max out.

And there I was, standing in the counter, rummaging my bag and hoping to find any money or another credit card that hopefully was not yet swiped.

Yesterday I have only coins in my purse, not even enough to commute and to buy water.

I am literally penniless with mounting debts and paycheck that can hardly pay my monthly bills. I don’t want to borrow money also from friends because I am trying to contain my current debt and my friends seem to be all in financial crisis too.

Don’t take me wrong! I am definitely not happy with my situation but dwelling on it doesn’t help as well. I honestly don’t blame anyone, not even myself (though I am the culprit of my recent financial quagmire).

You see, you have to understand a bit of my past to somehow vindicate me from my current state of ‘brokenness’. Yes, it is a sort of self vindication.

With two siblings, we grew up only an inch above poverty. The great thing was that my parents knew the value of good education so they struggled hard to send us to college. Then years later in my corporate life, I started to be financially better.

Since somehow I could already afford to buy things like cellphone and laptop, I slowly developed an addiction to the feeling of being able to buy something that I wanted. So I became an impulsive buyer both for my necessities and wants.

It was like devouring the things that I was deprived in my growing years.

Anyway, now I am paying the consequences of my reckless expenditures. I am caught up in spiraling debts though in a way I am grateful it happened because I learned my lesson well but in a hard way.

So here I am now – broke but not hopeless.

Lately I have been considering all the possibilities (that are in accordance with my moral beliefs) to earn extra income and to contain my debts, and I will be journaling it here.

Hopefully this blog will serve its purpose of helping others who share the same situation with me or enlightening others who have the tendency to lead the kind of life that I have now.

Wishing you a better life,

Beggar in the Suit